he's our brother

85%

2012-02-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

Jim has been using both his legs to push the bike pedals.
And the PT bike machine can measure how much each leg is doing it's own work,
as opposed to the machine...
And the latest report this week is that Jim's previous UN-moving right leg is now able to push the bike pedal 85% of the time!! The PT therapist is thrilled with this progress for Jim!

Go Jim GO!!

He is a PERSON (a person's a person, no matter how "fill in the blank") who likes to follow the primary elections

2012-02-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

I came upon Jim very involved in the news show on TV, Jan 31st

Burying a Parent

2012-01-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

July 2006, Jim leading the way on a bike ride @Lake Elkhorn, Columbia, MD with his youngest girl in yellow helmut on back of his bike. Also with niece and nephews.

I married a man whose mother had been dead 6 years when I had met him.
She'd had cancer in the early 80's and chosen the macrobiotic, as-natural-as-possible-route to extend her life, instead of invasive surgeries, chemo etc. She had watched a cousin have breast cancer and go thru all the treatments and die anyway, fairly young. So. She had quality of life for several years, and suffered the most at the end, in the last 6 months. A lot of cancer stories have a similar tragic end.
But from what all who knew her said, my mother-in-law I never met, was a living saint and offered up her suffering for the continued safety of Pope JP2 (who had just been shot in 1981), and spent as much time with her family as she could.
A rather amazing detail surfaced 15 or so years later, when I asked my husband's large extended family about this woman's life. Cousin MaryGene told me that when she last visited MaryRita (my husband's mom) in the last weeks before her death, and asked how her care was at home, that my husband's mom told her cousin that her son, Walt, was the very best at changing her bed pan. That he was so gentle compared to anyone else.

I think that is a tremendous legacy to find out about the man I married.
About the father of my children!

And it was super wonderful to be able to share that with my husband -- that his mom really appreciated him and his tenderness in her final days!

***

Last night, a good friend from my circle of life, a fellow mom from my area, died after years of breast cancer battles and now it had come back in her liver just in the past few months, and her battle intensified, unfortunately taking Lori down fast.
Lori leaves a grieving, devoted husband of nearly 25 years, and 3 precious children, all within age range of my children.

I first met Lori in my own living room when I was about to have my firstborn.
She and another new friend, Robin and I had a personal "La Leche League" meeting, as they shared things about breastfeeding with me. I remember the way Lori sat on my floor and nursed her toddler and showed a peace as a mom! As the years went by, we ebbed + flowed within each other's worlds. I moved a couple times. They moved too. But then we were back near each other again lately, especially when our sons (the same one they helped me learn to nurse) were attending the same boys high school these past 2 years.

Lori was a brave, faith-filled lady who kept being a mom despite ups and down with treatment.
Her kids still needed a mom, and she knew it.

Now she has led the way, in the most important moment, for her children: in holding their hands and wiping their tears to the very last minute and saying as she went, "I will pray for you a lot now!"

***

Last month, our family grieved the loss of another mother, my age, with children in my children's lives. It was a painful funeral right after Christmas. Marguerite has had asthma and some particularly painful problems recovering from a medication that had unknowingly caused bad allergic reactions for over a year, probably causing some of the complications in her lungs that made the specific episode of asthma fatal, just 2 days before Christmas.

Then a copy of an obituary came from a friend of another mother we know in Missouri, who was killed instantly in a car wreck Jan. 4th. A mother of 9!
How very very sad!

Last year, in May, with her 6 week old newborn in her arms, a physically fit, runner mom of 8, collapsed in her home of sudden death! The outpouring of support in our community for this family has been amazing.

How can there be so many motherless children in this modern era we live in??
This is all within fairly safe, healthy circles of abundant love and support.
What other deeper calamity it is when a parent is lost in war zones and areas of natural disasters (tsunamis and earthquakes and floods)??

I think very much, on account of these families suffering these losses of their moms, of my brother's children having lost him too, in effect, on account of his inability to be active in their lives, his inability to be seen to blink by them, to blink "3 times for I love you" for them... they haven't seen it, and have drifted away in order to cope.
I know they have a lot in common with the children of these families that have truly had a parent die.

But at the same time, I know that any one of the families who lost their parent, would give anything to "hear something" from the beyond from their parent!
And for a child to be able to still have a chance at seeing a look of love from their mom or dad whom they thought was gone forever.... THAT is something that is worthwhile!!

I have asked my brother many times if he wanted to still "Be There" for his children, and he has indeed said very strongly YES!

One day, it is hoped that Jim's children will realize that he has not passed away yet, and they still have that chance to get "that word" from their dad. He is certainly waiting for them to "come and see" and for their mutual understanding of his circumstances and his life, a life still worth living --- worth it because of THEM.

Let us pray for all those who have recently lost a loved one, and for those who are unsure how to help their disabled family members (and there are so many in our world who are confused about the disabled)...
Amen!!

The First Family I Met With Brain Injured Son

2012-01-07T03:23:00.000-08:00

At the recommendation of the Brain Injury Association of Maryland staff, I went to a Brain Injury Support Group in my area (in Pennsylvania), about 6 months after my brothers accident.

The main idea of these groups is to offer a place for family members to talk about the trauma that it is to have lost so much. There were both brain injured people there and caregivers. To hear both perspectives from folks who were recovered enough to talk about it, and caregivers who watched their loved ones struggle to get better, was a deeply helpful piece of my journey to understand our situation with Jim.

The first folks I met in the group I went to, had a son who was 11 years "post-accident" -- 39 years old, and his accident happened when he was 27, married with one young son. Apparently, after an argument with his wife, he angrily got on his motorcycle and drove off, having an accident somehow as a result. He almost died, but didn't, and in the time of his recovery, in a coma, his wife met a doctor at the hospital and eventually divorced her brain injured husband and married the doctor, taking the young son to a different state with "the new dad" and starting over.

In the meantime, the brain-injured man was cared for by his parents, who had become his guardians. Their story at the support group, 11 years later, was one of fortitude and perseverance. Because he didn't die, they just kept loving him, visiting him, and trying to seek therapy and many types of remedies, help, etc. They were both working full-time, so had to reserve their time with him to evenings and weekends, while he remained in a nursing home. He was bed-bound or wheelchair-bound and couldn't talk, eat by mouth, or move any part of himself without help. Pretty much like my brother Jim is now still.

It was not until year 6 that their son suddenly started having several things "come back."
First he was able to help himself pull up out of laying down in bed to sitting up.
Then he was able to eat by mouth, and much to their amazement, he quickly went from eating a little, carefully, to eating everything he could - ALL the time!
Then he was pulling up to a standing position, and ultimately recovered his ability to walk!
Eventually, he went on to be discharged from the nursing home and is now living in an independent living community for folks with brain injury, about 20 minutes away from his parents, who have him home every weekend.

12 years after his accident, when this fellow, Bill, was home for a weekend at his parents' house very near mine, I was able to meet him. Bill laughed, talked and told a couple jokes --- AND leaned down from where he was sitting and picked up my youngest daughter, a 2 year old sitting at his feet!

Now, this scenario may not ever happen for Jim. We know that.
But, all the people at every brain injury support group I've been to, who have been where Jim is at, plead with us, DON'T GIVE UP!! They truly know what it has been like to have been trapped inside an injured body like this. They all have said that just because Jim can't talk like he used to, or look like he used to, that does not mean he is "not there."

Everyone involved in these kinds of catastrophic injury cases, all the family members, needs to meet others going thru this. It it so incredibly helpful to gain perspective and have friends on the journey who are very aware of what you are going thru and what you are feeling. Shedding tears together about what has been lost and also finding people who are positive in a place where you are feeling things are so dark is a huge help!

You look up "brain injury association" for your state, and look on their website for support groups and you will find where to go!

Welcome 2012!

2012-01-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

We spent Christmas Day with Jim, at Mass + at Aunt Beth's
And the week before Jim was able to attend the boy choir's great Christmas concert...!
Here's a few pics from this month, and a few old nostalgic shots folks may not have seen, from when we were growing up...

Jim as a boy, enjoying annual beach time in Rehobeth, DE

Jim in NYC, about 1977 (gotta love those shoes!)

Jim @ chapel@ St. Martha's just decorated for Christmas

Jim@boy choir concert

Jim again, at boy choir Christmas Concert

Jim @home with us this Fall

: )

2011-12-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

A picture says a thousand words

4th Week of Advent

2011-12-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

It's the 4th Week of Advent and Jim's been at St. Martha's in Downingtown for 6 weeks!
We've been taking him to Sunday Mass at the chapel in St. Martha's, as well as the local Catholic Parish, right next to St. Martha's -- St. Joseph's.
Yesterday, Jim was able to go with us to the Archdiocesan Boy Choir Christmas Concert.
My sons are in this excellent choir, and Jim got to really enjoy this rich musical experience!

As another Christmas approaches, we are very grateful for Jim's life and being able to hug him, have him close and make sure that he feels a part of our family!

Pictures from the Downingtown Christmas Parade + one from 5 years ago, before accident, when Jim was in the background, holding his littlest girl still for our last whole family picture.... (the adults behind little ones are RtoL: my husband Walt, holding Max still, Jim holding his girl, me holding "the baby" Sara)

Greetings + Fresh Air

2011-12-09T19:04:00.000-08:00

Jim receives birthday greetings!

Sara helps take Uncle Jim for a walk (and her Raggedy Anne)

Sara sings with the carolers at St. Martha's

STANDING TALL + HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIM!!

2011-12-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

On the Eve of Jim's 46th Birthday, we salute his endurance, his life and say "Three Cheers for JIM!!!"

When someone is disabled to the point of not being able to get up, to reach to help get up, much less stand -- then there are ways to help, in our modern world of Physical Therapy! Stepping stones, that all are very worthwhile and inspiring...

Here is Jim, getting that help again. He had been able to get this help only a few times in the past 5 years. Now it is happening again at St. Martha's Manor! It's still a lot of work for Jim, but the PT staff said he is getting a little better each time they try -- enduring a little longer and the look on his face is one of more determination now, then at first nervous.
How else should a person who is disabled be challenged? And isn't it simply THE BEST to see someone TRY when they hadn't been given the chance or when they had been very down, depressed + discouraged? GO JIM!!!

Happy, truly happy... ThanksBeToGodGiving!

2011-11-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

Jim, my brother... back in Baltimore last night. Baltimore was where he was flown to "shock trauma" after accident 5 years ago. Last night he was treated with great respect + dignity by the waitstaff at this Baltimore restaurant. Jim enjoyed family, soup + drink (soda pop!) and his eyes glowed with being "with us!"

A New Day in the Life of Jim...!

2011-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

Some pictures of "A day in the life of Jim.." now that he lives so close to us!
Sunday Mass as a family; (a movie together, no pic of that); a walk in the park!

You've got a friend in Pennsylvania

2011-11-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

At last! Jim is near to us!

It was such a breeze to go visit Jim yesterday. Not only the driving - no more 6 hour round trips!
But to be able to walk his wheelchair down the hall to the Catholic Chapel for Sunday Mass!
Wow. Just wow.

After Mass, we were able to take a walk outside and I discovered that St. Martha's Manor
has Stations of the Cross out back, with a nice path. It was a beautiful day with lots of sunshine.

Jim seems settled and peaceful here. Thank God for this new chapter in all our lives!

JIM IS MOVING TO PENNSYLVANIA TOMORROW!!!!!!

2011-11-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

Zippidee DooDah! Zippidee Day!!

We got the call we've been waiting for: Jim has been accepted at St. Martha's Manor in Downingtown, PA, which is finally putting Jim NEAR US!!!

More news as the transfer is competed tomorrow!!!

Our parents are in Frederick, Md to bring him here tomorrow!

Alleluia!!!!!

All Hallows Eve!

2011-10-31T17:44:00.000-07:00

Jim with the Saints, an Angel and one Sith

Consider yourself

At Home!

Consider yourself

Part of the Furniture!

We've taken to you

So Strong!

It's Clear,

We're

Going to Get Along!!!

(great lyrics of love from

Oliver!)

Funny Quirky October Snow

2011-10-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a plan to get Jim to our home this weekend and here he is!
But this quirky unseasonal SNOW has fallen today!! And then the power went out, b/c there's so many leaves on trees still and bunches and bunches of branches are falling, affecting electric wires....

((the power is back on now, which is why I can type now))

So, with "nothing else to do" I was sitting on the floor with the little kids playing Candyland!!
And I brought Jim's wheelchair over real close to us, and started rubbing his feet...
and every time I stopped for a few moments...

Jim
Lifted
His
Foot
towards my hands...!
and wiggled to "rub more!!!"

This is really fantastic stuff! Jim communicates when given the chance!

Time

2011-10-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

Jim's 5th year anniversary of when the bad car accident turned his and his kids world upside down is coming this week. It's still very hard for the family of Jim. In some ways, everyone is "used to this new way" of living without Jim or without his full participation in our lives. But I know, for me, it doesn't take much for the tears to flow again -- Just recalling the unfairness of "Why??" and the fact that Jim has not been able to hug any of us really well or at all, and especially that he can see us, hear us and understand everything, but he remains mute because of the brain injury and likely also severe sorrow in his heart of hearts.

One day, we will all have clarity on some of the "why?" and until then we just have to do the best we can with what we got. It is what it is. Etc.

In the meantime, drawing hope from the stories of others is a gift.
And here is one of those stories, that goes with the previous video of Chris Medina's song for his fiancee who is also brain injured...

What kind of family are we if we leave when you need us more?

2011-10-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone who wants to "be family" to Jim and continue to help us

be love and mercy and hope for him --

YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN THE JOURNEY!!!

Here is an email address to write to and then we can keep in touch:

jimsfamilyunite@gmail.com

Please help this man!!!

don't be afraid to love

Indian Summer

2011-10-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

At the end of September, Jim and I made it to our favorite spot on the C+O Canal, across from Harper's Ferry. It was a perfect day, a perfect sunset! It was remarkable how happy he was, and then when we got back, how very happy for him the staff was that he "GOT OUT!"

Jim at Mass

2011-09-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

Rising Above One's Circumstances, As Best As You Can!!

2011-09-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

A little fable or sorts that I just learned... It very much applies to Jim's story:

A donkey fell into an abandoned well, the farmer hated this donkey so he started to bury it in dirt..with each shovel full that hit the donkey, the donkey would shake it off and the dirt would fall underneath him until so much dirt filled the well, the donkey was able to safely climb out instead of being buried in dirt..shake off the "dirt" of life and use it to your advantage to rise above it....

Mother Teresa

2011-09-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

Today is the Anniversary of when the world lost Mother Teresa of Calcutta, but Heaven's Doors were opened wide for this Beloved Nun who taught all of us how to love the forgotten!

I have been a volunteer with her sisters over the years since college.
I just love Mother Teresa!! And today our family was able to go to a special Mass near Philly with our retiring Archbishop Rigali and celebrate the life and legacy of Blessed Mother Teresa.

Here are some pictures:

School has started

2011-09-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

Jim's son is now a college freshman!

He's studying at Syracuse University in NY.

Perhaps one day soon Jim can see his son at college.
It seems a big goal, but its something that would be the right thing to do for this father of 3.

My kids, meantime, also are starting school. A very busy time of year for anyone with kids!

Strong Silent Type

2011-09-01T16:25:00.000-07:00

Jim is still pretty much silent when it comes to speech.  

But those who've been spending decent time with him over these nearly five years, do know how his eyes and facial gestures change to follow or agree with or disagree with things being said around him.

I've just finished a 3rd book on brain injury recovery, and it's about a caregiver to a woman who is severely brain injured, but the woman is able to walk and eat.  However, this brain injured person in the novel (yes, it's fiction based on a real medical trauma) must be helped to walk, by holding her arm or hand, and not left alone in case she wanders or loses balance.  

But, she can't speak.

Like Jim.

And the struggle of those around her to learn to care about her, to understand that she is not just a potted plant in the room and in fact hears everything around her, is so similar to our story with Jim.

I'm so relieved to be finding these stories!  

It's giving a sense of solidarity with the suffering of others, and a deep insight into the strong silence type that is my brother.

Because by golly, he must be very very strong deep inside to have endured all this these nearly 5 years.  He has endured awkward recovery with tubes and such stuffed down his throat, a hole in his throat for the trach actually for 2 months, and then the needing to depend on nurses for all his care, feeding, cleaning etc.  Jim has endured listening to everyone's opinions of him, whether they were nice or not, or thoughtfully aware that he was listening.  Jim has had to watch helplessly as his kids came and went and sometimes cried, trying to understand their dad and what to do or say.

I see all this endurance on Jim's part as quite strong!  Quite patient!

And as a persistent reminder that HE IS IN THERE, waiting, waiting, waiting for love and kindness and hope.

It's Such a Good Book!

2011-08-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

For those who have been catastrophically injured -- this book is pure solidarity and understanding.

For those of us who are caregivers and loved ones of same (catastrophically injured) -- this book helps us understand what it has felt like and how much Our Support Means!!

Check it out:

"Walking Papers"

and also this is him, on YouTube:

Francesco Clark, spinal cord injury victim, giving interview

Many Books Out There On Brain Injury

2011-08-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am glad to find more books on brain injury trauma and the recovery stories of others documented, in modern times, in modern medical terms, and most of all repeatedly showing that HUGE SUPPORTIVE LOVE is the Main Ingredient to the recovery of catastrophically injured folks.

I am "bi-locating" in my book reading now!! I can't put down any of them!
Besides the one I mentioned a few days ago, "Walking Papers" (a true story of spinal cord injury)
there is another one that is written by a medical novelist: "Left Neglected" -- a novel based on medically true cases, about a working mother who has a serious car accident in a busy Boston suburb traffic jam and then wakes up unable to do anything with her left side.

It is very very intense to read the accounts of What It Feels Like to "not feel anything!" in your arms/legs/ribcage/toes - or to have a breathing tube stuck down your throat, or to have it PULLED OUT -- ouch!!! I remember my brother Jim being in ICU and having a trach and having it clogged with mucous and having to help suction it (major ick!), and sometimes seeing the nurses "do it right" and rub his throat raw and a little blood come up.. Poor Jim! Now I know from reading this stuff that Jim really felt trapped in pain during several procedures, and probably was stuck with an "unknown" about what each tug and shove in his throat and other places of his body were for, or would do to him next!!

These folks describe in their books the raw reality of medical protocols that have to happen, but in very human terms so that us who have not "been there, done that" can understand and empathize.

And yet they are still so glad these things were done, b/c they were done to save their lives!

And they have been given the chance to get better, slowly, eventually to TRY!

There's another book about a teenage girl whose dad has come home from Afghanistan with a traumatic brain injury, and how she's sees him from her perspective. And another book is about an 18 year old college student who is hired as a live-in aide to a woman who is brain injured, and how learning about the story of the brain injured woman's life helps the 18 year old find themself.

All such compelling reads that offer deep insight to the plight of those hurt like Jim and how similar the caregivers surrounding them are coping like us.

I recommend anyone who has brain injured loved ones to go to your local library and find out what's out there now to help us get thru this together.

Putting Ourselves In Their Shoes

2011-08-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

The other day at the library, I decided to look up "brain injury" and found several books on the topic, either non-fiction and some fiction/novels. While the one I settled on reading first is actually about a spinal cord injured young man and his plight to fight back ---- It Is SOOOOOO Interesting!!

Very hard realities, very difficult to read the gross descriptions of what happened to him (he dove in the shallow end of a pool, completely believing he was diving in the deep end), and the vivid details of his treatments in the ICU...

But this book, this survivor of catastrophic injury HAS A VOICE!

And reading this stuff is very much helping me in a brand new way to

Put Myself In Jim's Shoes !!

The book is "Walking Papers: The Accident That Changed My Life And The Business That Got Me Back On My Feet" by Francesco Clark

******

For Jim, and many many like him, either by brain injury or in some cases spinal injury ---

They CAN'T SPEAK.... and it makes it very mysterious and challenging for us loved ones standing beside them to "get it" about what amount of "with us" they are.

In reading this book (above) I am able to immerse myself in the world of the disabled, the severely stuck, like my brother, b/c this young man lost almost everything, like my brother --- EXCEPT the ability to speak and EAT!

((What a JOY that the author could eat only a week or so after his terrible accident! Then later, when his Italian grandmother came to sit with him in rehab --- Wow! --- she brought him homemade everything that he had grown up with and then spoon feeds him and HE IS IN HEAVEN with this kind of Love From Family!))

So, Mr. Clark is able to describe the deep struggle to fight to live, the wanting to get better, and the despair of having to be dependent on everyone for everything. It is quite intense to read from someone's own "reality show" of recovery!

I need this --- to understand Jim's place, Jim's perspective! We all need this.

And so much of what is recommended in this book -- about family love + POSITIVE SUPPORT -- was not always available to Jim... We have pushed and pushed and to Give Him Supportive Love, but not all were "on the same page" -- some quite close to Jim were instead despairing themselves over how his challenged circumstances affected them. They bowed out of "being positive" and sometimes actually suggested giving up. And the affect on Jim was sometimes glaringly obvious! The staff at his nursing home were grieved to see him so many times brought down in spirit after certain visitors came. It has been a part of our help to Jim to keep coming back to him from our 3 hours distance and uplift after such moments. And it totally has helped Jim, thank God!

So, our family has stood up and said "No Matter What: HELP JIM!!"

((which is exactly why we have been trying to move him close to us!))

This book, and several others I am finding of similar amazing struggles to Fight for Life,

COMPLETELY CONFIRMS that Hope and Joy are what Jim and others like him need!!

Prayer Requests! For MANY BIG MOVING DAYS in Jim's Family!

2011-08-11T15:13:00.000-07:00

Please join us in praying for Jim's oldest child, son Nick, who is about to move to Syracuse, NY to begin his freshman year of college!! He has stated that a part of his interest in biomedical engineering is to help people like his dad, and his grandfathers. All of them have had brain related injury or illness.

Please also pray for Jim's other children who are also moving to a new house a few miles away from where they have grown up. A big transition for kids who are not only changing schools, but leaving the home they once shared with their Dad.

And a very special prayer request FOR JIM ---- That he also will soon be able TO MOVE!!

....to Pennsylvania, to be very near to us, for peace and safety for all of us (no more driving 6 hours round trip!!!) and for a really Holy Home for Everyone in Jim's Family, as they each Move On!!

Thank-you for your prayers!!

A Good Friend Is An Elixir For Life!

2011-08-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

Jim with friends and their children visiting him!

Did you see the videos of Jim???

2011-08-04T15:25:00.001-07:00

a must see video blog about Jim:

http://braininjuredlives.blogspot.com/

Dog Days of Summer

2011-07-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

Baby it's hot! Got to some shade and views in Harper's Ferry. Had us some Sweet Tea.

ahhhhhhh...... in the shade, sir... in the shade!

Jim's Father's Day weekend with his Dad and the rest of us...

2011-06-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

Jim joining us "at table" for a family meal!

Catching a little of the last Little League Game

With nephew JohnPaul!

Leo, Laura, Jim together on Father's Day 2011

Sara leads the way as Aunt Amy takes Uncle Jim for a stroll

Sara, Amy, Jim

Helping Jim enjoy some OJ

Jim takes welcome sips of OJ with a straw

Sara very much cares for, helps and love her Uncle Jim!

Amy with her brother Jim!

Amy + Jim

Laura + Walt, with our son Max, and Uncle Jim

Jim + sister Amy!

Jim got out to see our bonfire, later at dusk we roasted marshmellows

A nice June evening with family!

Love Stories Like This!!!

2011-06-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

Brain Injured Teen Had To ReLearn Everything + DID!

The Power of Physical Therapy: One Student's Story of Brain Injury and Recovery

June 2, 2011 (mlive.com) - DJ Little dreams of being a paleontologist or an archaeologist someday.
But first, he has set his sights on a goal close at hand: walking across the stage at his eighth-grade graduation ceremony. When he does, each step will be a triumph, brought about by the love and dedication of his parents, therapists, teachers and, most of all, DJ's strong will.
DJ, a 15-year-old Alger Middle School student, was hit by a car five and a half years ago. He suffered a broken left femur, a severe neck injury, internal bruising and a traumatic brain injury. (continue ...)

Operation Joy!

2011-05-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

Jim after being home for 2 days, having a back massage + COFFEE!

Dad + Jim together @ local lake, watching sailboats go by...

The Allen Family cochet piece with Us Allens!

A Room With A View!

Home again!

2011-05-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

Jim is able to be home with us this Memorial Day weekend!
This is the 6th time since moving to this house with our parents, that we've worked as a team to take care of Jim here, and give him a break from the nursing home. It's getting more routine to have Jim here, and between us adults knowing how to do the care and move Jim to the wheelchair and bed, and the children just chatting it up with Jim and sharing in their activities/videos with Uncle Jim, it just feels like normal more and more.

I'm hoping to get Jim close to the computer for a stretch, especially his facebook page and let him catch up with his friends that way. This morning I took Jim and a couple of my boys to daily Mass at my parish. The priest was already familiar with Jim's special way of receiving Holy Communion and all went well. Max was with us (age 8) and this is his month of "1st Holy Communions" -- So, today was the 1st time Max was able to receive Holy Communion with Uncle Jim!

When Jim is here, it is so different than the nursing home. He is "open for business" or something! It's remarkable how alert and observing he is. Of course, this makes it very hard to have to bring him back.

The only hold up on moving Jim to our area now is awaiting a medical assistance bed at one of the facilities that we have applied to for him. If Jim is anywhere near to us, we can bring him home for day visits almost everyday! And keep that "open for business" joy going for him!

Please pray for that to work out asap!

God bless, Laura

A Prism of Reaction to Disablity

2011-05-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

In the past month I have had a "fly on the wall" view of how people react to Jim.

Jim has many friends who have wanted to visit him, have intended to visit him, but have their own "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans...." In recent weeks, I have interacted with some of those folks. Some, upon learning that it WAS possible to visit Jim, rushed to see him!
Others have been trying from great distances, out of state to come play JAZZ music for their old high school jazz band member... It's still trying to be arranged.
Then on that recent weekend, when I got to take Jim just a little bit down the road to neighboring counties we grew up in, the reaction to Jim was so interesting to see unfold:
Overall, each person has had their own mind and heart changed by the experience of their old friend who is now disabled. Some have been a little shy at first, but then they come close and follow the way Jim's eyes and face subtly change in response to them, to their words.

Jim is a severely disabled 45 year old man. He lived to age 40 NOT disabled.
I am a witness to that. I saw my smart brother do well in college, commit to a serious faithlife, thrive amongst like-minded friends, and choose a career and work hard at it. All my life I knew his very dry sense of humor and his calm nature that sat back and waited for others to talk, then he came down at the end with a quiet "zinger!" I knew him since that little picture on my "about me" profile shows:
since he was my newborn baby brother. All these things that crowd my mind with who Jim was, are to me who Jim IS!

Now, Jim is unable to talk, barely move and needs help for everything.

EXCEPT THINKING. Jim IS thinking ----- all the time my friends!

My heart is with him. I get that. He was in the prime of life when his accident happened.
He had 3 young children who suddenly lost their daddy as they knew him that October evening, 2006. Now, 4.5 yrs later, after the roller coaster of hopes dashed, hopes revived, hopes dashed, hopes revived on his recovery prospects.... Here sits Jim, father of 3 now very estranged children, who are unsure if he is even "in there" anymore.... Here sits Jim ---- THINKING a LOT.

I wonder what he thinks about? Does he think about the things he overhears in the clattering halls of his nursing home? Does he think about how to get out of that bed darnit, and wishin he could get himself over to that w.c.? Does he think about how bitterly sad he is to not "be there" for his adorable littlest girl who has now more than doubled her age since he hit that stupid tree?
Does he think about his smart, top-grades only son who tried several sports known to suburban man and wanted so much to thrive in football? Does he think about his more quiet middle child daughter who he can't "be there for" (polishing a gun) when he meets the boyfriends she goes on dates with?

I have read so many things about brain injury in these years since Jim's accident.
And one thing I've seen over and over and actually heard from those who are now able to talk after suffering thru non-verbal months or years of recovery: You DO Hear, and You DO Think -- while you are stuck like this.

Another thing I read a long time ago was about how fear of something or some deep sadness can cause a brain injured person to resist "trying" to either work at recovery or speech or both.
In my brother's case, I believe he is very sad. I believe he needs soooooo much joy and then MORE joy! I believe that the distraction from the static life of that nursing home when we get Jim OUT is soooo good for him. He is always, everytime looking intensely at the scenery and sites of the road as we drive. And all those trips to Harper's Ferry! It's always on pretty days, and the views from the hill of the rivers, the mountains and the people watching are fabulous. How wonderful to see Jim LIGHT UP when a small child or baby comes right up to him! And for me, the appreciation I have for the many people, complete strangers, who have come right up to Jim and told him stories of hope of their own disability or car accident, or a relative for whom they have seen much improvement, despite poor prognosis.

THIS is what Jim and all folks stuck like him Need So Much!!

Jim is a thinking man. Jim is a man with a mind! Jim is a man with a mind that has been injured, but is NOT dead or gone or dried up by any means.

Our family has had to bide our time, try to keep many disappointing thoughts about what has not been fair for Jim, not been right for Jim to ourselves --- in order to "keep on swimming, swimming, swimming...!" for Jim. Because if we were to simply back off, lay low and yield to the naysayers of this life that don't see Jim anymore as "a man of worth" and a man with a mind that thinks...
He would indeed be forgotten.

Not on our watch. Jim IS loved!

Let us pray, everyone, for continued healing of all that have been hurt by life's many wounds.

Posted on the day of so-called "rapture" at 38 minutes past 6 pm.... Still Here!

A Video of Jim from 2008!

2011-05-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

I started a new blog last summer (2010) when someone challenged me to post videos of Jim. But I didn't have the tech on my computers to upload the many videos of Jim's life these last 4 yrs -- Until Now!

So...... Here you go! This is a sample of Jim's responsiveness, when he's been active with PT, OT, Speech, etc. I will include the link for the special "video blog" at the end.
Brain Injured Lives

Jim makes pilgrimage to his friends

2011-05-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Jim and I were able to visit out hometown of Columbia, Md and get time at Lake Elkhorn in the sunshine with his high school Spanish teacher, Mr. Roberts! Great reunion!

Then journey to the Goshen House at Mother of God Community, a place of many years of Faith-filled fellowship in his early 20's and 30's. A time for reflection, prayer and friendships reconnecting!

Pictures coming soon!

Looking Back: January & March 2007 -- 3-5 months post accident

2011-05-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from the first few months after Jim's accident.
In the 1st 2 photos, this is in March, 2007 (5 mos post accident) --
There Jim is being asked by me to wave to the camera, and obviously he does!
and smiles naturally and easily!

The others are from January 2007, when Jim was still at Kernan Rehab Hospital
in Baltimore. The nurses were so relieved that I offered to take Jim both
outside and to this area where there was a solarium. This was a great day:
Jim seemed very interactive and happy to smile!

grocery store glasses

2011-04-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

Laura + Jim with our grocery store glasses that REALLY help us read better.

Easter!

2011-04-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

This week Jim was able to get in the pool again at the Ymca.
I keep asking Mom to try to get new pictures of this. Thing is, she's always in the pool too!
Hopefully, next time!

Jim in still in Frederick, Md.
We are still commuting 3 hours one way to take him out of the nursing home, visit, get to doctors and the pool.

In a very short few weeks Jim's son will graduate from high school. So, it seems that God has a reason to keep Jim right where he is -- to be there at that time. The high school is only about 7 blocks from Jim's nursing home. Soon this oldest child will be off on his adventure as a college student. He's indicated that he's very interested in studying biology or something connected to learning about the brain on behalf of his dad.

In the meantime, we continue to roll up our sleeves to work on behalf of his dad!
Amen and Happy Easter!
He is Risen, just as he said!

Disabled Parents' Rights

2011-04-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

A friend has pointed out this tragic story that is in the news recently.

It hits a little too close to home.

Jim has 3 children who have been shielded from much of what the rest of us see and know about Jim's recovery and current life. When will more compassion be a part of the healing for Jim?

Judge says ex-husband must arrange for triplets to visit mother

Did you know?

2011-04-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

I was sharing with a few of Jim's old friends recently, all that has happened with Jim in these recent years. And in making a fresh report to several people, it occurred to me that there is a lot that hasn't been explained.

Some of the amazing steps of recovery that Jim has been thru, some of the setbacks after the good streaks, and the reason for our hope -- All this has perhaps been put on the back burner by folks, and so many have never known that Jim was doing things like:

Spelling "F R E D E R I C K" on a spelling board at Kernan Rehab about 3 months after accident!
(by pointing one letter at a time with his left hand pointer finger) -- after being asked by the speech therapist, "Jim, where do you live?"

And 5 months after accident, when shown a family portrait with 19 people in it, including himself, his wife, his kids, his parents, and siblings and their spouses and kids --- that he listened to the names of 8 different people, all over the map of this portrait in front of him --- Jim correctly moved his pointer finger to each person named! as in: "Where's your brother Craig?" "Where is your son Nick?" "Where is your brother in law, Michael?" "Where is your Mom?" All of these he knew well and quickly pointed to each!

2 months after accident Jim was able to play gently games of "rock, paper, scissors" with nephews & a niece!

Later in Summer of 2007, Jim would read -- ON HIS OWN, no one reading out loud -- a short story, and then use his fingers to give numeric answers to multiple choice questions about what he had just read!
(holding up 3 fingers for answer #3, 2 fingers for answer #2, etc. about a few paragraphs just read about tree frogs or Abraham Lincoln growing a beard because a little girl wrote him a letter suggesting it...)

Did any of those who know Jim realize all this was going on in the first year after his accident?

There is more to tell! Stay tuned!!!!

driving curvy roads

2011-04-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

I drive curvy roads a lot.

Two nights ago, I was on one of those.

And I turned my head towards a neighborhood a mcmansions on the left, whose lighted insides caught my attention thru the woods. They looked like big doll houses with intriguing architectural "things" twisting about beyond the cool kitchens with islands and double sinks and granite.....

THEN SHA-ZAMMM!!!
I
was
about

to vere off the road!!!!!!

into a DITCH, a TREE, and a HILL --- for that One Moment of Turning My Driver's Eyes away!!

ThaNk GoD!!! My Guardian Angel was On Duty!!!
I was able to steer correctly and get straightened out and arrive home all in one piece about 15 minutes later.

All I could think about... oh my. Is this what happened to Jim? In one split second?
And here we are, 4.5 years later, picking up the pieces and rebuilding and persisting in Love and Healing despite the trauma, despite the "what ifs" and conjectures of blame or shame or pain....
And it all started with that split second of oops on a curvy road.

Let us love, ongoing and with great mercy and hope!
You know not the day nor the hour, that the Lord God will call you either to His Side
.....or to the Sides of your Loved Ones in a Great Act of Love and Patience to Be Family.

April 2011

2011-04-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends. We are still awaiting "the big move" for Jim to the Philadelphia area, near to us.

A medical assistance bed has to be available in a nursing home near us. It seems to be opening up, working out, admissions offices are talking to each other.

Pray!

In the meantime: JIM HAS A PRIVATE ROOM back in Frederick, Md!! Woot! Woot!!
This is a fabulous, blessed change -- for the time remaining in Maryland. It was a request Mom made over a year ago, and now it has materialized. I can't tell you how very different it was to visit with Jim in a room where there was not just no television, but no 3 tv's on at the same time!! That's how Jim experienced his "space" in the other room for over 3 yrs. Crazy!
So, much nicer for Jim! and for any who are visiting him. I trimmed his nails with classical music from the radio (that radio from Christmas Day). Quite soothing.....

Here's a photo of Jim with a friend from way "back in the day" - Susan worked with Jim at his first accounting office, and she recently found out she could come visit Jim and did so as soon as she could!

Susan showing Jim a precious "double relic" she is guardian of!

Jim in March, Some St. Patrick's Parade pics, my kids around town...

2011-03-25T19:07:00.000-07:00


Jim, just after receiving Holy Communion,	20Mar2011

Jim + me, Laura (his sister) at St. John's, Frederick, MD

my kids @ Valley Forge

Philly's St. Patrick's Day Parade: the theme was to thank the sisters for all they have done

Jim outside St. John's Catholic Church in Frederick, Md

I asked Jim to smile, and he did! in his littel way

Jim with the pretty church in the background

Me and Jim, checking out the internet, facebook at a Starbucks!

Such a lovely statue of Jesus + children

My son, Max, won 3rd fastest car at his first cub scout race!

a little bit of Sara, Max the cub scout + Grandma and Grandad!

A float in the Philly parade

A particularly well done float honoring our religious sisters!

3 of my kidos with an old neighbor, Bill, who works at Valley Forge Natl Park as a history ranger!

Here is a neat shot of a real nun step dancing with the little ones

Gosh!! A Picture I Hadn't noticed!

2011-03-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

*******
On Christmas Day Mom gave Jim a new radio, and someone got this moment on camera!
Jim IS hearing them say "Say CHEESE!" and he IS smiling!!

*******

A little update besides: My parents continue to "make a pilgrimage" almost every week to both take Jim to important appointments at National Rehab (in DC) and to the dentist, wheelchair adjustments, etc.
In addition: Mom has worked to get Jim BACK TO THE POOL! (I'm hoping to get some more pics of that) The aquatics director at the Y was very eager to help get Jim back in the pool and they worked together since January, waiting thru the several snowstorms and doc appts and FINALLY Jim Got IN!
And I think now in the last 2 months he's had 3 or 4 sessions -- and both our mom and specially assigned lifeguards get in with Jim, and he Loves It!!
The staff at the nursing home is glad to see how very relaxed Jim's usually very stiff limbs are, and he looks happier when he comes back from the pool AND he is much easier to move.

***
In the meantime, we are on the verge of relocating Jim to the Philadelphia suburbs to be closer to us!
So, the "pilgrimage" to Maryland will not happen, instead a new ability to help Jim every day will be our focus! Please keep this all in prayer... Amen!
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!

***
Happy Saint Joseph's Day (in 2 days) !

*

Thoughts & Encouragment!

2011-03-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

It's easy for many folks to think that someone hurt like my brother might of, should have, would have been better "if" they had died by now, or at first when their accident, stroke or condition hurt them. And I might think that too, if distanced from the reality.

BUT, when it's YOUR person, YOUR family, and YOU SEE THEM....

TRYING TO LIVE!

And they have "good days" that inspire you, and you know that they very much NEED YOUR HELP ---

why then, you "just do it!" --

with great patience, and trust in God, and totally living "One Day At A Time" and you are glad to do it, because it is the right thing to do!

And furthermore: you KEEP DOING THIS LOVE, THIS GIVING despite the Romans in the Coliseum all around you that are screaming "THUMBS DOWN"

Because they don't see, they don't know and they simply don't get it about your person! So, you know that you are doing the right thing, even though "the stylish thing" would be to give up.

For anyone who is going thru the difficulty of caring for a seriously injured or hurt loved one: Take a deep breath, a rest when you can, and then GET BACK TO IT! Don't stop loving and caring for your person! You are Jesus' Mercy on this earth to your person -- you are the hands and feet of Christ! Keep on Keeping On!

American Idol contestant is caregiver for brain injured fiancee

2011-03-01T06:42:00.000-08:00

Here's the article:
American Idol contestant, Chris Medina, caring for brain injured fiancee

This story has put a huge spotlight on the plight of the brain injured.
What a stand-up character Mr. Medina is!

For his fiancee, Juliana, and countless others struggling to survive and fight to live, let us pray!

Praying!

2011-02-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

Jim@Church

Here is Jim at St. John's in Frederick, MD Feb. 20th, 2011:
Again putting his feet to the step leading up the main altar.
In prayer for the possibility, if it be God's Will, that he may
feel his feet on the floor again!

Mid-February

2011-02-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

An agreement has been reached for Jim to relocate to Pennsylvania.
!!!! ALLELUIA!!!!

Final paperwork still in the works... please pray for peace and then for a nursing home bed near us to be open for Jim very very soon!

Just saw the movie, "The Kings Speech" AND brought Jim to see it --- it is an uplifting true story of a King of England (King George 6th, 1936 era) who must MUST overcome his speech disability in order to be a leader during wartime.
A very uplifting story indeed! The love of his wife and the patient understanding of so many around him, especially his own children was inspiring! And the portrayal of firm but kind leadership of the speech therapist was excellent. This reminded me of the story of Helen Keller and how critical it was that she had her "Annie Sullivan" in her life.
(disclaimer: there are streaks of foul language in the course of the movie, set in a light of it not being appropriate but useful to help the patient "blurt out" more speech instead of stammer, but nonetheless there are moments in movie that would make a lady blush)

Jim is worth this kind of help and love. Let us continue to pray and work!

February 2011

2011-02-16T16:01:00.000-08:00

Jim had his teeth cleaned yesterday. My mom was with him, and I was able to talk to Jim via her cell phone. I asked him if he felt glad to get his teeth cleaned, and he clearly began to gently "moan" an answer to me!

A few days ago, Jim's oldest daughter turned 16! It is with some heartache that we mark this precious girl's birthday, since we are not sure how much Jim is able to see her now-a-days. We pray that she knows her dad loves her, despite his disabled condition. Perhaps over time, she will come to be able to communicate with him as we did yesterday!

In addition, we mark the passing of Jim's father-in-law a couple days ago. He will be missed by Jim's children and all his family. I saw how much he loved Jim, when I came upon his visits with Jim since this accident. His concern, love and prayers for Jim were precious and I know Jim felt this. May this good man rest in peace.

God has a plan. I pray that the lion will lay with the lamb very soon, and we shall have much needed peace for our extended family that leads to more peace and healing for Jim!

Jim's January

2011-01-31T14:32:00.000-08:00

Jim's had several doctor and PT appointments at National Rehab Hospital in January.
He's had botox shots in his right arm that have proven very helpful to relaxing this stiff side,
so there will be more of the same for his right ankle. Jim's new wheelchair has been evaluated further and some adjustments made, parts ordered to further his ability to sit best. The posture improvement has helped Jim's neck become stronger and his ability to watch and participate in life around him -- when he's in the wheelchair, NOT left in bed -- is much nicer!
Our parents have been driving him with the wheelchair van, dodging huge snowstorms!
And we are hoping for a change soon so Jim is near us at last. Please pray!

Just found great news articles once again explaining that doctors and scientists have radically changed in the past 10 years in their attitude of hope towards even the most serious traumatic brain injuries. See below.

He's my BROTHER! Can you tell?? I love Jim, no matter what!

Brain Can ReWire Itself

2011-01-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

Brain Injury Recover

A story from New England about a young woman's journey an doctors saying there are changes in how brain injury recovery goes compared to what was understood 10 years ago!

Into the New Year

2011-01-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

Sara in the snow

Boys running in the snowy driveway

Outside with Dad!

Getting some fresh air after the snow fell...

Uncle Jim got to catch up on the latest internet games boys like

MaryRita's pretty smile

JohnPaul with Uncle Jim!

MOM! and Jim!

Our Christmas Morning began with song at Christmas Mass with VA Hospital

Christmas 4 Jim

2010-12-27T14:32:00.000-08:00

Jim w/ Niece MaryRita at Cathedral SS Peter & Paul, Philly

Receiving Holy Communion, Christmas Eve

@Home with Christmas Tree

Some Christmas Favorites - Roses compliments Craig & Fatimah!

Dad Talking to Jim, Christmas Eve

Jim Watching the Grinch!

Jim@ Home

Our Nativity Set

Jim checking out our snowy day

With nephews as Grinch ends on tv

Christmas, Cathedral, SNOW!

2010-12-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

Jim has been safe and sound with us since Christmas Eve Day.

Our parents arrived with him at 10:30 am. He had a restful day at home, enjoying the views out the
windows, while the kids were helping finish decorate our Christmas tree and other usual family life was flowing around him. We have a small "mountain" behind the house, and the sun sets behind it, giving a great view for Jim as we hung out having more sips of coffee from a straw!

Then, in the evening, Jim was able to journey with me to downtown Philadelphia Cathedral of Ss. Peter and Paul where we made it to the Christmas Eve Mass where my sons sing with the boy choir! Pictures coming soon!

Now we are all snug at home as the snow is bearing down for a delayed "white Christmas..." Very Pretty!

Hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas time!

On the Journey....

2010-12-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Our parents have arrived safely in Frederick and had an enjoyable meeting with Jim's son on his birthday! Tomorrow they will travel with Jim to bring him home for Christmas!

Please Keep All In Prayer!!!

Merry Christmas to You and Your Families!!

"I'll be home for Christmas... You can count on me...!"

2010-12-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

This week, God willing, our parents will be transporting Jim home to PA for Christmas!
Jim's son will turn 18 on December 23rd and my parents are hoping to see him for his birthday too, when they get to Frederick. It's hard to believe he's all grown up! And applying to colleges and about to graduate from high school in 5 short months! Jim's youngest daughter also had her 6th birthday last week. And the older daughter will turn sweet 16 in February. Wow! Jim's kids haven't seen my kids or our sister Amy's kids in a few years now. We all used to do something fun every summer, like spend a weekend at the beach where our parents used to live, or go to Hershey Park. We miss them and hope one day to all be together again. We look forward to catching up sometime real soon!

My kids are looking forward very much to getting Uncle Jim back here! I have a 7 year old son who prays every day for Uncle Jim, and he especially prayed tonight for God to help Jim come home soon for Christmas!

Jim's 45th Birthday

2010-12-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

Here's some pics from both Jim's birthday this week... December 6th!
Also, there's a couple of Jim's "home" at the nursing home: his bed and the
wall I just decorated for him for Christmas.
Then a couple pics of Mom taking care of Jim in our home in Pennsylvania
during Thanksgiving visit with us.

Jim got a few spoonfuls of hot fudge sundae + checked out his facebook!

This is Jim's corner in the world for the last 4 yrs.

Jim waiting to GO OUT 4 his b-day!

Looking thru the french doors of the living rm to Mom w/ Jim

Mom taking care of Jim @ Thanksgiving

All of us @ Thanksgiving weekend with Jim Home

2010-11-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

Jim @ Home for Thanksgiving 2010! Surrounded by Love!

1st Coffee in 4 years!

2010-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to give Jim have some warm coffee with a the help of a straw! He kept opening his mouth for more! Something for which to give a big THANKS!!! Yum!!

Another Thanksgiving OUT of the nursing home!

2010-11-22T21:37:00.000-08:00

This Week: Jim gets "OUTTA THERE!!!"

Our parents will be transporting Jim to our home in Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving weekend!

Keep posted for how Jim's time will be.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!!!

Here's a little photo gallery of our year with Jim -- We are SOOO Thankful for Jim's life!!

Our Dad, my sister Amy, me (Laura) and Jim in June, 2010

Jim's subtle changes in these pics that follow.....

Add caption

Jim in front of the Spring azaleas at our house, April, 2010

Jim in the backyard in Pennsylvania, April 2010

Jim in chapel at Villanova U. (we checked out the campus, b/c his son was thinking of applying there)

Jim in chapel @ Villanova U., with Blessed Sacrament!

Jim, 4 years post accident -- Hangin' In There!!

2010-10-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

4 years

2010-10-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

Today marks 4 years ago since Jim's tragic accident.

Several lives have been affected by the car hitting the tree that evening on his way home from an "overtime" day at the accounting office. It's a hard day.

But, we are still here with Jim! And he is still here with us!
And we still keep on keeping on to give him a home and place in our family and truly help him with his compromised circumstances. We are waiting for the next step in doing this help for Jim. He is still the father of 3 children who, while still having to get up from their deep grief over losing Jim as the active dad they once had, have yet grown up a lot these last 4 years, and have turned out to have great dignity and a zeal for life, nonetheless. For the years to come, where these children might still build back their relationship with their dad in his recovery, slow as it might be, we pray and hope for all things beautiful and good to unfold!

For hope and perseverence, we continue to "be family" to Jim!

Jim and so many others are not served by limiting their healing

2010-10-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

Don't Limit Healing from Brain Injury!

2010-10-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

I just love seeing all my siblings when we were in this "age of innocence..."

But it is especially sweet to see my brother Jim's excellent broad smile!

For chances for Jim to smile again so broadly, keep praying --- thanks so much!

Jim has friends, gets around and HAS A LIFE!!

2010-09-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Anne's family near Leesburg, VA @ White's Ferry, MD

Just after receiving Holy Communion! (@ St. John's in Frederick, MD)

Jesus, the Good Shepherd! One of the images Jim can see here.

Jim is looking up at the portrait of Christ on the Cross (below).


Enjoying a few gentle spoonfuls of luke-cold icecream..

@Harper's Ferry we got inside the little Catholic church for the 1st time together!

Inside the Harper's Ferry Catholic Church (historic)!

Me and Jim @ Harper's Ferry Catholic church.

With Niece MaryRita @ little church!

At last! Got Jim inside here with the help of some strong men!

The view from the little church, over Harper's Ferry...

MaryRita skipping the rocks in the Potomac River.

Another shot of Jim along a new spot on the C&O Canal!

Mom and MaryRita!!

A peaceful doze in the shade, with new wheelchair w/ more air on Jim's back!

Jim is certainly taking a road less traveled by....

New Wheelchair!

2010-09-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

This wheelchair is much more supportive of Jim, and allows more air around his torso! It took a year to accomplish getting it - between the scheduling at a chair clinic, the sales reps coming to show other models, more fittings, and most of all the bureaucracy of getting thru insurance and other red tape... At Last!!

Visiting another nursing home

2010-09-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

My school aged children joined their classmates at the local Catholic nursing home in our area for a neat program where elderly residents sit at a table and interact with the kids. I was a parent helper and enjoyed watching this go on. I also have an old friend at this particular nursing home. I went to find him and the nurses were glad to see me wheel him down the hall to join the others.

My friend is a retired lawyer. His name is Patrick. He's old enough to be my dad - about 70 or 72. He had a stroke about 4 years ago. He is a brilliant guy, funny and was very sharp in the courtroom. Now he can't remember that he was a lawyer. The main things he remembers are that he is married, has children and grandchildren. When I asked him when was the last time he went home, he says the same answer he told me 2 years ago: "When I get better." I think he has been home for outings since his stroke, but I'm not sure how often. Mostly, it seems, this patriarch of a robust Irish Catholic family remains at the nursing home.

There is much about his circumstances that parallel my brother Jim's.

On one hand: It is what it is.

On the other hand: It is a call to GO VISIT YOUR LOVED ONES!!! Often!!!

Patrick was sketchy on certain details of his life, but the fact that he knows that he knows he is a DAD
and HUSBAND and GRANDFATHER are reminders of how precious family is - especially in the very difficult times of our lives.

Two things I found really neat about his responses today: he definitely remembered that he had been a lifeguard when he was young, in Margate, NJ! And when I suggested we pray a little of the Rosary together, he was perfectly capable of all the prayers -- Creed, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be!

It was a great visit!!

Recent Visits

2010-09-05T21:41:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures of August, 2010 visits with Jim. Sometimes he's very sleepy, other times he's completely WIDE AWAKE for 5-6 hours straight. The main refrain on that: "That's brain injury!"

We stopped by with the kids on our way to see relatives and have a much needed vacation.

And once again in mid-August, I got Jim out to a favorite spot - Harper's Ferry, WV.

When I ask Jim if he's ready to leave, he usually indicates strongly "NO."

Tommy, Sara, MaryRita with Uncle Jim in August, 2010

Jim Smiles while enjoying the view @ Harpers Ferry, WV

Laura mugging with Jim in Harpers Ferry (Aug. 2010)

Jim & the view @ Harpers Ferry's little Catholic Church

Taking Jim Out! Let's ROLL!

3 Hour Drive from Philly to Frederick, MD - more LET's ROLL

Approaching Frederick, Md - one of 100+ times

Ease on down, ease on down the road....

Helping Jim get OUT! Yea man.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother! (by the Hollies)

2010-09-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1KtScrqtbc

Love Divine All Loves Excelling!!!

2010-08-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, at Mass in Maryland, at beautiful, old St. John's in Frederick.....

Jim hummed the entire last hymn of the Mass!!!

Love Divine, all loves excelling,

Joy of heaven, to earth come down;

fix in us they humble dwelling;

all they faithful mercies crown!

Jesus thou art all compassion,

pure, unbounded love thou art;

visit us with they salvation;

enter every trembling heart.

Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit

into every troubled breast!

Let us all in thee inherit;

let us find that second rest.

Take away our bent to sinning;

Alpha and Omega be;

end of faith, as its beginning,

set our hearts at liberty.

Come, Almight to deliver,

let us all they life receive;

suddenly return and never,

nevermore thy temples leave.

Thee we would be always blessing,

serve thee as they hosts above,

pray and praise thee without ceasing.

glory in thy perfect love.

(Thank-you! Charles Wesley!)

Jim's Nieces & Nephews & other outings for Jim

2010-08-01T13:46:00.000-07:00


9 out of 12 Grandkids, @ family reunion in RI, missing	3 precious kids from Jim's family!

Jim with our brother Craig at Great Falls, Md

Jim has a wide-eyed moment (his version) with Laura

A view of the Potomac River at Harpers Ferry

C&O Canal in Maryland, across from Harpers Ferry

Jim at campus of Villanova University in Philly suburbs

Laura & Jim at Shrine of Immaculate Conception in DC ((w/ squinting eyes)

Jim on Facebook

2010-07-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I started a Facebook account for Jim.
It took a while to get it worked out for him to actually SEE IT...
He got sick and wasn't able to get out of bed, then he got well, but
then my laptop got sick!! For the first time, I experienced one of
those computer viruses that attacks your computer and sends you
to websites you don't want, downloads junk onto your desktop, etc.

So, at last! This past weekend I was able to take Jim to Darlene's house
where she had a working laptop and show him several Facebook Wall
messages from friends and relatives, as well as some photos! Plus a
few folks had written very personal, compassionate private messages
to Jim to remind him of the way he touched their lives many moons ago!!
Thank-you to everyone who has reached out to Jim in this way!!!

Our mom just got an "IPad" and she is slowly figuring it out this week...

We hope to be able to use it to continue the process of bringing Jim to
the world and the world to Jim!!!

Keep praying that we can also bring Jim closer to us so as to alleviate
some of our drive time and improve our ability to bring "Joy Therapy"
to Jim on a daily and weekly basis.....

God Bless, Laura

Back of the Bus....

2010-07-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks, I've had some contact with others advocating for disabled folks across the nation, and have learned of the attitudes still present in certain quarters of our culture that wants to place people like my brother Jim at the "back of the bus" of life and relegate them, and him, to dark nursing homes, to be forgotten.

Worse yet, there are some who would like to see people like my brother die so that they can live.
Live without "the burden" of caring for someone so disabled or seemingly unable to have a live worth interacting with. The tragic circumstances of human suffering is a call for COMPASSION and TO SERVE ---- not to dismiss and forget!!

In some cases, a former family bread-winner like Jim is only viewed by the tragedy-struck dependents as a "meal ticket" thru disability insurance or worse, better off dead because of life insurance. In otherwords, the work of Physical Therapy and patience in giving TIME to very stuck, hurt patients is deemed useless because of the TIME it takes away from the able-bodied friends and relatives' lives.

We were told several times by doctors and physical therapists caring for Jim these past 3 and 1/2 years that Jim and everyone like him needs every single chance at HOPE -- that there is no such thing as "too much therapy."   And yet there are people surrounding him that believe there is no hope in helping Jim, that actually have recently said he "not recovering from anything now."

A huge part of why we seek to relocate Jim to Pennsylvania is to give him HOPE and human touch and compassion every single day.   We pray and hope for the day when all of Jim's loved ones will join together in rejoicing over his small and large triumphs! And for the ability to give Jim a real home again where he is treated with much dignity and respect as a valued member of his family -- no matter how challenging his remaing years on earth shall be!!!   JIM IS WORTH IT!!

****
In Pennsylvania, there are programs specifically for helping brain injured people live at home and receive out-patient PT. Getting Jim PA residency will qualify him for help at a place like Bryn Mawr Rehab, which is right in our county - and is one of THE BEST rehabs in the world!! Additionally, Moss Rehab in Philly is also a cutting edge leader in many aspects of understanding "the latest" on how the brain heals. Either place could open new doors of hope for Jim.

For now, the important issue of Jim's children struggling to understand what is best for their dad, versus how they would be able to "see him" if he was not in their town anymore, has kept us from relocating him. It's a 3 hour drive, and they have busy lives. However, we pray that his kids would "see the light" on their dad needing a better environment for healing, and that they are always welcome to come visit. While it has been hard on them to essentially lose their dad as they knew him --- they have at least moved on and are healthy and young, while their dad remains in great need. We are hoping they will understand their dad needs much more still and that they can help their dad by letting him get this excellent help we have positioned Jim to receive.

The local Court is involved. Lawyers, testimony, mediators, etc.   I think we've been to court about 6 or 10 times in the last 3 years.   All to protect Jim and fight for the right to help him!!!
We are approaching the court one more time to petition for the right to help Jim.
His parents ARE his legal guardians. They are continuing to advocate for Jim, that he deserves MORE than being in a dark nursing home room 168 hours a week.
So, please, please pray for Jim's story to take a turn towards greater cooperation and family unity.

Thank-you!

Our Family

2010-06-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

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A small miracle happened last weekend: my sister Amy came in from California for a weekend and so we all met at Jim's nursing home and got him "out" in the sunshine!

Here we are, together with my parents for the first time in a long long while...

from upper left, clockwise:
Amy, Mom, Craig, Laura, Jim + Dad

Spring Flings.... ; )

2010-06-04T15:56:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends!

I've just posted a bunch of photos below and here's a quick rundown of what they are about:

1st one: That's me and my newly Knighted husband: this past weekend we attended the banquet for Walt taking his 4th Degree with the Knights of Columbus ---- a rare dress-up affair for us!

C&O Canal in April - I took Jim on an outing just when the trees were getting green and it was a balmy day with a great sunset and walk along the canal.

Weekend in PA, late April, included a Sunday Mass with my sons in the Archdiocesan Boy Choir of Philadelphia.... Jim got to finally see and hear the whole choir up in a choir loft !

During one "transfer" of Jim from wheelchair to bed, my husband Walt and I were able to smoothly lift Jim and then let him enjoy the feeling of SITTING next to us on the bed!! That was a sweet moment!

Cousin Karin from Canada was in DC and here's another pic of us with Jim that day, plus the National Cathedral and Jim in DC on Wisconsin Ave. (not far from where Jim worked as a CPA).

God Bless, Keep us in prayer, and Happy Summer!

Laura

Spring Photo Gallery!

2010-06-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

Many Photos being posted now.......

Captions coming soon!

It's a journey

2010-05-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

Last week, Jim was able to be home with us here in Pennsylvania, from Friday April 23 thru Tuesday April 27th.   Part of the journey this time included an overnite in a hotel! We had a rented hoyer lift, which was able to be easily taken apart and transported in our wheelchair van, and we took Jim to a 1/2 day conference in Harrisburg, PA first (about 90 minutes from his nursing home in Maryland) on brain injury and other disabilities.

So, we got the hoyer lift back together and wheeled both it and Jim to the elevator and then to the hotel room. For the first time since the accident (now 3.5 yrs), Jim was lifted into a regular bed! And a double bed at that ---- such spaciousness and very comfortable! He slept soundly!

The next morning we got Jim dressed and back into the wheelchair and fed him and then down to the main floor of the hotel for the conference on disabilities. Jim was able to listen to dynamic speakers who explained a wide range of issues related to brain injury. For Jim to be able to hear clearly, and in lay-persons terms the dynamic programs going on to assist in the recovery and care of someon in his condition!! Wow!   What an opportunity!

After lunch, we packed Jim and everything back into the wheelchair van and headed towards our home near Philadelphia. The remainder of the weekend was spent taking care of Jim amongst our family life. Our kids watched TV or videos with Jim, and on Sunday we all went to Mass together at a beautiful old parish in Philly. The boys sang with their choir, so Jim was able to hear the whole boy choir!

On Monday, we had a fairly quiet day, with the children at school, and my parents busy with an appointment. We had hired a nursing agency to send a helper 2 times a day - morning and evening - to help us care for Jim's transfers from bed to chair and back. So, inbetween this male nurse's arrival, we hung out, listened to music, had meals + meds, and a brief walk. When my 4 year old, Sara, came home from preschool, she was very eager to "watch Uncle Jim's favorite princess movie" with him. She told me she thought it was "Snow White" because of stories I've told her that we all used to pretend, act-out that one as children, with Jim being "Prince Charming...."   So, we put the video of Disney's Snow White on and Sara pulled her red chair (that is a step down from a high chair, so it's at Jim's level, when he's in the wheelchair) and she held his hand and chatted with Uncle Jim about their "favorite princess movie."

Before all our children went to bed on Monday, we all came down to Uncle Jim's room and stood around his bed and squeezed his hands, and said a little prayer and sang a song of compline... "Salve Regina!".... then said our goodbyes, since most of the kids would be up and on the bus for school before he was up. They let him know they look forward to him coming back to us another time, and "to stay."

The next day, Tuesday, our parents brought Jim back to Maryland after lunch.

We are still hoping to do more for Jim to continue "Joy Therapy" and include him in our lives.
Please continue to pray for the move to Pennsylvania.

Home Again!

2010-04-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

We leave today for getting Jim -- to bring him home for the weekend!
Hospital bed and lift are in place... pretty weather today, check.
Plans to join the local parish for Sunday Mass, check.
Have a normal Monday reading the paper, going for a walk, check.
Tuesday drive back to Maryland.... as slowly as we can... wishing Jim was staying here for good...

but not yet.

Keep us in prayer!

God Bless, Laura

Springtime

2010-04-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

Below is a great picture!

The main reason it is great, to me, is that Jim had been a bit sleepy, had had a bit of a rough drive earlier, on some hills and bumps... and then a huge blast of WIND when we finally got out of the van at the National Cathedral in DC. While absolutely beautiful and stunning on the skyline of Washington, DC --- the cathedral is set on the highest spot in DC and when it's windy, it's VERY windy there....!

So, we quickly got inside and Jim caught his breath and we sat in the calm of this gorgeous gothic church... and then slowly walked around taking in the stained glass rose windows and vaulted ceilings and amazing Christian art and stonework.

Then we left in the wheelchair van and headed for one more place to visit with our Cousin Karin who'd come from Edmonton, Alberta, CN to DC for the first time in over 30 years! We settled on simply staying in the van --- b/c it was soooooo windy! But at least we had a view of a hillside of tulips and were able to chat and include Jim.

Then it was time to go, and we remembered "Pictures!" --- and it was just in the last 15 minutes or so that Jim perked up, esp. when Karin told a short story of a silly memory when we were kids... Then, as we hunched close to Jim and the picture was snapped, he widened his eyes and did indeed SMILE!

After all that, Karin was able to see as Jim responded to my usual request: "Can you blink 3 times for I love you?"

Blink....

Blink....

Blink!!

((sweet tears come to my eyes every time.....!))

Cousins, DC, Smiling and Loving

2010-04-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

Wow!!!! Wow, wow, WOW!!! A Healing Story from Traumatic Brain Injury...

2010-03-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy WORKS!

Doing a little research online today and found this amazing recovery story!!

Jim got to Palm Sunday Mass this past Sunday with our parents in Frederick, MD.
We are still working on efforts to relocate him. Keep praying!!

Thanks and God Bless your Easter!!

More Recent Pics from Winter, Art Museum w/ Jim

2010-03-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

Below are some pictures of my kids from both winter and spring, to show the vast contrast in just one month! And Jim at the National Gallery of Art in late February - when all those major snow storms were melting away. The one picture of us together, a little close up, was taken by a security guard at NGA, and I can see now that I post it, that when he was asked to "say cheese!" Jim really did smile! (his best version!)

This is Jim in front of the famous series by Thomas Cole (American) which depicts 4 basic scenes of a person's life, this one being "manhood" -- when an adult man must journey thru very turbulent waters, and often is struggling with huge pressues and life pulling one apart at times. I post below the words the artist himself wrote to reflect on this, which actually Jim and I read together and it brought tears to my eyes to think of how much it exactly reflects what Jim's adult manhood has been like before the accident and especially now, post-accident....

Jim and I had just left a free concert with several beautiful pieces by Spanish composers for string quartet, cello, piano... We had stayed at Jim's request extra time at this concert at the art gallery, so I really think that smile on his face is showing that!

My husband with our youngest, Sara... in one of those crazy snowstorms... I honestly can't remember which one!! (in Feb. 2010)

Boy in Snow!

GrandDad + Sara going down the driveway after the 2nd blizzard of Feb. 11-12, 2010

Our kids at one of our favorite spots "The Rocks" at St. Peter's Village, PA.... today March 21, 2010

from our recent outing...

2010-03-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

Fr. Peter Ryan, SJ @ Mount St. Mary's in Emmittsburg, MD with Jim

Jim attends basketball game at Gov. Thomas Johnson High School

2010-03-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

BEEeeeeeUTEEFullll Day!!

2010-03-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a much welcome warm and sunny skies week on the East Coast!!

Thankfully, I was able to get to Maryland to spend one of those Sunny Days with Jim!
We went first to a much needed dental appointment which was a success in that ALL of Jim's teeth got cleaned. Having "a friend" with him to encourage and coax his mouth open and stay open was a big factor.

Then it was off to Emmitsburg, MD which is only 40 minutes up the road from Frederick.
There we were able to visit the St. Elizabeth Seton Shrine, having a bit of a picnic for Jim with some ice cream and a little bit of chocolate pudding outside on the lovely grounds near "the stone house," which St. Elizabeth had used to found both her religious order and Catholic schools in America 200 years ago. We also visited the Basilica and spent some time in prayer with the Blessed Sacrament, then at the tomb of St. Elizabeth.

I put Jim's feet on "the step" in front of these altars, with his wheelchair upright, so he can FEEL HIS FEET ON THE FLOOR!! And together we pray for the day that he might, might feel his feet on the floor MORE.
To some, this might seem silly to say this to Jim, to show this to Jim. But it is not silly to extend hope and joy and love to this man who has to spend 90-100% of the 168 hours of every week stuck in a nursing home with either NO visitors and NO real conversations about all that is happening with brain injury recovery for others.... He needs More!! And that is what we are all about. Giving Jim as best a life as possible considering his stuck circumstances.

Here is Jim on the grounds of the Mother Seton Shrine.... March 2010

Winter Winding Down

2010-03-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

In the past 3 months, our family has been continuing visits and activities with Jim. After waiting since July for a hearing in the matter of relocating Jim to Pennsylvania, we've had another delay in our efforts to give Jim more intense help. So, we've had to continue driving 3 hours one way per visit-day with Jim. However, we have just taken the approach of Dori from "Finding Nemo" --- "Keep on swimming, Swimming, Swimming!"

And so we keep driving to Jim!!

My parents have taken Jim to that neurology appointment 2 weeks ago! He was given a baclofen adjustment. Dr. Y agreed again that Jim would be best served living in a home with family and completed forms to say this. Then Jim was set up for a "seating clinic" -- which brings him back to NRH for an intensive study and trial of how to best improve his wheelchair options and find, create a new wheelchair. This is Excellent News!!!

In the past two months, I have taken Jim to:
a Barnes & Noble bookstore and we read and skimmed thru several books;
a high school basketball game; a brain injury support group meeting; to Mass on Sundays;
and most recently to the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC where we were able to
stay for the free concert they have there every Sunday for the past 60+ years! Jim heard me
talking to someone about this concert and signaled with his hand and eye blinks that he really
wanted to stay for the concert! How could I not stay a little extra for this man who worked so
hard to signal to me??
Jim played the trombone thruout high school, was in the jazz band, and went on a music abroad
trip once. He taught himself how to play the guitar, and was very involved with the music ministry
in the prayer community he lived in. He LOVES music!

At the art gallery concert, we heard several gorgeous pieces of Spanish composers!
For cello, and string quartets, and the piano. It was great!!

So, we just keep infusing Jim's nursing-home-bound life with as much joy and hope as we can.
We hope to work out a way to improve the driving and ability to further help Jim - because we
know that lifting his spirits is THE HUGEST WAY TO HELP HIM!!!

Keep praying please!

Jim is seeing his Doctor at NRH today

2010-02-23T04:48:00.000-08:00

My parents are driving to DC today to meet Jim at his neurology appointment today.
It's a time for checking in with Dr. Y and having Jim's baclofen pump adjusted.
Jim is being transported by "transport" from the nursing home to National Rehab in DC.

Afterwards, Mom and Dad will follow the transport back to Frederick, Md and then
visit more with Jim at the nursing home.

Keep praying for Jim and what's next in our journey!

The Internet, At Last!!

2010-01-25T10:52:00.000-08:00

Last year, this time (winter) I tried to figure out a "new to me" laptop's ability with WIFI and simply didn't know what I was doing. In the past month, I finally figured it out. So, yesterday I brought it with me for my time with Jim, and after Sunday Mass, a wonderful movie we saw together, I parked at a McDonald's where they have free WiFi and GOT ONLINE!!
Jim was in the van and able to SEE the internet on his lap!
The main wish I've had is to show Jim hope thru the stories on the internet of other people's journeys with brain injury and recovery. This happened in quick succession last night -- 3 stories were able to be viewed, read and even one lady had a short video presentation of her harrowing story of almost being starved when doctors convinced her husband "she wasn't really there" after a stroke -- and at last she was able to blink in response to his questions - after 8 DAYS OF STARVATION - and they put her feeding tube back in. Now she lives to tell about this and is a motivational speaker. Jim saw all this in a matter of minutes!!
Yay!!!

And this is Jim at Mass, Jan. 24th. We get to sit right up front, and it is a beeeeUtiful old Catholic church!

Mall Therapy

2010-01-19T05:07:00.000-08:00

Here is Jim with his home in the background! First walk thru his neighborhood in over 3 years - since the accident.

As the New Year began, we
joined our friends, Rachel and her mom, Darlene, at the local Mall for some snacks, ice cream and people watching. Rachel is 17, and had a bad accident exactly one month after Jim's - in the same basic vicinity in Frederick, MD. Jim has heard Rachel's story and she's heard his... and while they were together, Jim reached over and "hugged" Rachel's foot with his good left foot... Like a father would!

News....

2010-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

There's been much going on to help Jim! Christmas has come and we got Jim out for Christmas Mass with the help of local friends in Maryland, then the next day I got down for Dec. 26th Movie night - a tradition my parents started when we were growing up (to see a blockbuster with the crowds, back then it was: Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, Superman).
Jim and I saw "The Blind Side" - a true story about a young man helped by a well-to-do family in his town, and now he is playing NFL football in Baltimore! It was very inspiring and the theatre was packed! We went to the local fancy ice cream parlor next door and Jim very much enjoyed some chocolate ice cream.

This past week, Jim went to his first brain injury support group meeting in Rockville, Maryland.
Wonderful group of "wounded healers" who had such incredible stories of triumph over adversity, and Jim got to hear it all!!

We are still hoping to relocate Jim to Pennsylvania. Keep this in prayer!

More later!

God bless your New Year!!

Blog technically all thumbs!

2009-12-06T22:40:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to say that I couldn't figure out how to make the words go next to the photos the way I wanted... below.... and so it's a bit confusing.... they are chopped up by the photos.
Sorry!

Thanksgiving Pictures

2009-12-06T22:16:00.001-08:00

This is the view from our living room.
Jim was taking a little nap, between gazing out.

We live 20 minutes away from
Valley Forge National Park, so we
took Jim there for a little outside time, viewing the vistas, seeing a short film documenting the historic significance of Valley Forge (winter 1777 encampment of our Continental Troops with great suffering, cold, deaths before mounting valiant fight with British in the Spring....).
This is Dad taking Jim thru the museum at Valley Forge.

Home for Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

Jim is here with us for Thanksgiving!!
Just for the long weekend and then he'll be back in Maryland.
A W E S O M E
When he arrived with my mom in the wheelchair van, a slight break in the rainy clouds happened --- while it still drizzled a tiny bit ---- causing a huge Rainbow right over our house!!! WOW!! Just as we wheeled Jim inside the sky clouded back up and the rainbow disappeared.

UNCLE JIM IS TUCKED IN AFTER HAVING SOME TIME WITH ALL OF US,
GIVING "SMILIN' EYES" TO EACH OF THE KIDS AS THEY SPOKE TO HIM,
AND HAVING HIS FEEDING TUBE FEEDS, MEDS, AND GETTING CLEANED UP.
We'll have some peaceful time together here this weekend,
and probably get Jim some chocolate ice cream for Thanksgiving!
Amen!

Pictures!

2009-11-18T10:38:00.000-08:00

Me and Jim @ DC - on "the Mall" in front of the US Capitol ....@ the East Building of the National Gallery of Art.....

Jim inside the East Building.... got to see those huge Caldor Mobiles....

....and walk thru the underground tunnel thru to the cafe and West Building....
Jim outside in the Sunshine! yummy!!

Photos of Recent Visits

2009-11-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

Jim had such a peaceful look recently after receiving Holy Communion here....

Reading the Parish Bulletin after Mass.....
Visiting with Mom @ the local park across the street....
Me and Jim after having some coffee milkshake from Wendy's....

Thanksgiving

2009-11-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is upon us and we are giving Thanks for all that Jim has been able to do in the past year, despite his challenging circumstances!

There is an effort to get Jim a new + better wheelchair that fits him more comfortably and gives him a chance to "TRY" things and positions him in ways to let him "do for himself" small movements or adjustments. The trial on the latest wheelchair has made Jim more comfortable and the PT staff are so glad to see this!

In the past year, as you know, we've gotten Jim OUT for several outings, into the sunshine, to familiar spots in the general Maryland/DC area -- 2 weeks ago we got to Great Falls, MD to see the huge waterfall via a ramp system of a completely wheelchair accessible path over the rocks! It's not until you have a loved one or you are in a wheelchair that you REALIZE the blessing of advocacy for the disabled that The ADA created!! Thank God for the ADA!!

There is an important Hearing - yes, one more time! in Frederick Co. court next week regarding the guardianship and our plans to move Jim to Pennsylvania with us. It's 2 days before Thanksgiving and we would appreciate your prayers! For all of Jim's Loved Ones and God's will and Peace. Thanks!!!!!

Autumn Begins

2009-09-28T04:20:00.001-07:00

"I see that Smile, Jim!!"

It was a pretty early autumn day in Washington, DC yesterday!
And Jim was able to go with me to an art museum + the Mall + Monuments!
We went to Mass @ St. John's in Frederick, MD then drove to DC.
After taking in the weird art at the East Building of the National Art Gallery,
we strolled the Mall, took pictures of the us with monuments,
then met up with our brother Craig, the tile mason,
hard at work on Capitol Hill.

Long Day, but great to see Jim totally alert, taking in all the sites,
following intensely as we drove down 270, thru all
the places he's lived these last 25 years.
When I mentioned going to "Muzams"
(as he called them when we were growing up)
Jim clearly lit up and blinked once for YES!

Praying for more of the same in coming months.

September

2009-09-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Jim has gone back and forth with being "approved" for PT/OT/Speech ----- and recently, the staff at the nursing home put him BACK ON FULL PT!! Yay..! This is always contingent on Jim's responsiveness. So, thankfully, for now, Jim is responding well.

But we do notice that Jim has seemed a bit "down" lately ---
a little more sad than usual.
There is going to be the ongoing reality of
Jim becoming more and more aware
of his circumstances,
of all that has been lost.

The last time I saw Jim, this was something I discussed with him, b/c he indeed had very red eyes... and I asked if he had been crying? and he indicated yes. Just hugged him, and talked about the stress and sorrow it must be to know his children are continuing to grow up without him, and yet how much we are trying to arrange to give him as much back as possible to be able to get back communication and relationship with them. It is very hard. It just is very hard.

After a while, though, Jim's eyes were cleared up, he was glad for the company and outside time in that nice park with tall trees across the street.
Later, I left with my son and dad, to let our mom have some time alone with Jim. She stayed outside with him for another half hour and consoled Jim, gave his arms and shoulders a much needed massage, and then visited 2 more hours at the nursing home once he was back in bed.

Bonnie has continued to take Jim to the Ymca Pool.
She is going to take a much needed break in her work with Jim,
but promises to be back in a few weeks.

Keep Jim in prayer!!! And pray for more time for all of us to visit Jim!!